and i'm living like there's no tomorrow.

thanks to my dear friend tay ai wen whom i foolishly shared utensils and food with, i am down with flu and sore throat. but i guess i still can make it to work tomorrow with me popping pills every night before i go to bed. it's just that i am staying home for this weekend

i have just read my entries dated from 4years ago. 4 years ain't long but i had changed so much within this period. some of my thoughts after reading my oldest entries

1. i was foolish and childish. lol maybe it's the same for others too but just have this feeling that my past entries were very child-like, what i did everyday, people i went out with. less of unhappy feelings, more of reflecting on the happy things i did with my class and cca. but i kind of wish that it could remain like that

2. i was a mugger! almost every single entry talks about homework, exams and tests blah. i didn't realise i studied so much in the past!

3. i used very very short and weird 'shortforms' that i wouldn't use now. x-ams, beri, dae, happi, 2, ya, mi, aniwae,... i talked like a kid back then lar but i really wonder if i really did used all these shortforms so naturally in the past

4. my happy entries are usually all in secondary 2. all those after school outing, tiny tiny things, went out after school with blah blah, did blah blah, came home at blah blah time. those were the entries with more 'hahaaz' and fewer 'haiz haiz'. it's just that things aren't the same anymore and people who used to be the center of my life are no longer the same ones.

5. i gave up on many past friendships. council took a big part of my upper secondary life and i spent a lot of my time with them. not that i regretted it because they were extraordinary people and seniors who made my days back then. but i did regret not leaving time for other people and friends who were once so important to me. it's so hard now to step out again to these people and to thaw these frozen friendships.

the past always seems sweeter than the present

it's back to work tomorrow

how i wish i could stay home and spend days away from the rush and burden of working days

it can only be a wish

positive mindset girl! positive!